By Personal Trainer, Simone O’Shea
“It’s re-assessment day” I tell my client. I re-assess her weight, girth measurements, flexibility, cardiovascular fitness and strength according to her goals. Overjoyed (but not at all surprised) to find that my programming and guidance, coupled with my clients’ commitment and self-belief has produced wonderful results; and I tell her how proud I am of her efforts. But alas my client does not share my joy in this moment and instead reveilles to me feelings of doubt and inadequacy. These feelings began when a friend, family member or work colleague continuously made negative remarks about the choice of food my client would eat / or not to eat, and her physical appearance (despite the fact she was the healthiest she had been in her life).
If this sounds familiar to you, then you may be the victim of a saboteur. As a trainer this is frustrating to me, as it means I have to work harder to secure my clients self-efficacy and convince her that she must not reflect on the opinions of others. If I can not do this, it will lead to plateau or worst…. Regression of results.
Of course I have been the victim of such sabotage myself. My favourite would have to be when I was beaming at the success of ‘operation arms and shoulders’ in preparation for my wedding day, when a work colleague told me “If you loose any more weight you will look like a grey hound”. All I could do was smile and nod…..I was being passive aggressive of course; but I’m socially awkward enough to get away with it (I have to add that at no point did I mention that my goal was ‘weight’ loss). Fortunately, being far too logical for such preposterous pessimism I realise that this person is either envious, un-educated or ignorant; or all of the above, and I let those nasty and spiteful words roll right of my nicely defined back!
But lets just call out a saboteur for what they are….A BULLY!
A person who will straight out say un-kind words to you or try to influence your behaviour away from your goals is a bully. I tell all of the children that I train and now I will tell you too. I have a zero tolerance for bullying! … and so too should you.
The next time you recognise that either through words or actions a person intends to sabotage your health and fitness related goals, tell them this. “Unless you wish to compliment me on my efforts, please do not afford me your comments at all”. Put it into your own words if you like, but the bottom line is don’t waist your time and energy basking in negativity with the saboteurs; It can only lead to self-catastrophizing and self-sabotage. Hold onto the belief that you deserve better and you can achieve your goals, not despite all others, but simply for yourself.
And if all else fails know that you will always find support and guidance at Performance Personal Training through not only the staff, but like minded clients too.