Rediscovering Myself: My Fitness Journey as Mum

By PPT Trainer, Mary Elasi

If I had to describe me from circa 2010 it would read like this. Overweight, totally preoccupied with my young kids, tired, mostly cranky, unhealthy and probably not the best company. Don’t I sound delightful? I wasn’t all misery, but I definitely didn’t feel like who I knew in my heart I could be, to be totally honest I felt pretty disconnected to myself almost like a part of me was lost.

But that’s what you’re kind of led to believe is normal when you have a family. You’re supposed to flip all your priorities round so that your kids and family are put ahead of your wants and needs. As a parent it’s their needs above yours period. Is there a parent out there who would disagree? I think not, and if you do disagree you might not even be bold enough to admit it because of the fear of being judged as a selfish parent.

Family photo showing an almost unrecognisable Mary from 2010

It was at this time, I knew I had to make change, I had to find myself. The solution was simple, I needed to feel good again and I knew many of the emotions around feeling good will flow from when I felt good physically. Join a gym and turn this around – the answer was that simple.

Off I went to the gym and it ticked all the boxes. It had a creche, great staff, friendly people, it was clean, usual gym stuff like classes and equipment, close to home, but yet I still walked out of there without signing up. Like a punch in the face MUM GUILT hit hard, what was supposed to be simple was suddenly tossed in the too hard basket. The creche didn’t open through the middle of the day when my kids were awake. How selfish of me to disrupt their sleep, so being the “good mum” I was I abandoned the idea no matter how much I knew I needed it. I look back now and I can admit this was a pretty messed up decision. I was using my kids as the reason to not exercise and mum guilt is a very powerful excuse that nobody would argue with.

Fast forward 2 years and I stepped into the exact same gym only this time it was with 3 kids, and I signed up. My reason for doing so however was I had to do it for my children. So what changed?

I call it my lightbulb moment. Call it what ever you want to, but until I reached this point I was never going to change and I would continually find the excuse. That disconnect I spoke about earlier between who I was and who I had become was now at its widest point. I was truly fearful that if it continued the course of my life would be horrible. I came to realised that if I stayed on this path, I’d be pretty miserable and unfulfilled and that I would be that unhappy with myself that I’d probably push those who cared away, so I’d probably also be lonely. On top of all that, I had lost my mum when she was pretty young, so I had this intense fear that unless I changed my lifestyle, I was flirting with some genetic health concerns and with every year that passes, they’d get closer to knocking on my door.

Change over the years and a growing family!

All of a sudden, this lightbulb was like stage light shining on me. There was no hiding anymore. I had to step up and own my part in how I got to this point and I had to be better for my family. They deserved the best of me and more importantly I needed to control the things I could to make sure I was healthy so that I could be here for them. At this point in my life I took stock and it was clear, the pain of staying where I was far outweighed the pain and effort of making change. I didn’t want this pain anymore and change was the only option.

I don’t know how all of this gets so muddled up in our brains when we have our children, I just know it does. If had joined that gym 2 years prior when I first enquired, my kids would have been fine. They just would have slept in the pram maybe a few days a week, and they would have had a happier, more active mum 2 years sooner than what it took. I can’t get that time back and do it differently, but I can maybe help someone else out there take that step without the guilt. Yes parents, you can give yourself a few hours throughout your week to exercise, it will probably deliver back 10 fold in the time you have with your family creating memories doing “fun stuff”. Yes parents your kids might be a little upset when you tell them no to an activity because you can’t afford the time or money in your family budget, but you need to invest in your health and wellness too for the greater good of those you love.

There it is, after signing off my permission slip to exercise, I can honestly say my family has reaped the benefits of a happier, healthier, confident me.

PPT Trainer Mary Elasi decided that by putting herself first she was also doing something to benefit the family as well. It starts with you!  Shake off the guilt and do it for your family, If this is the lifestyle change you are looking for, then get in touch with our team.